Passion and intimacy with one’s partner are not deterrents against infidelity, study suggests

New research indicates that the decision to be unfaithful is primarily driven by individual tendencies, with minimal influence from the partner. The study found that a strong commitment to one’s partner is linked to a lower likelihood of infidelity, whereas shared passion and intimacy do not serve as effective deterrents. These findings were published in the journal Deviant Behavior.

Revenge sex is distinct from rebound sex. While rebound sex involves engaging in sexual activity with someone new to alleviate feelings for a former partner, revenge sex is specifically intended to cause emotional harm to a current or former partner in response to suspected infidelity .

Infidelity is the breaking of a promise to remain faithful to a romantic partner. Such a promise can be a part of marriage vows, it can be a privately uttered agreement between lovers, or an unspoken assumption. Infidelity typically involves emotional or sexual involvement with someone other than one’s committed romantic partner.

Infidelity can have profound and multifaceted adverse impact on a romantic relationship and on one’s partner. Emotionally, infidelity leads to feelings of betrayal, hurt, and loss of trust between partners. It can cause significant emotional distress in one’s partner, leading to decreased relationship satisfaction and increased conflict.

Trust, a foundational element of healthy relationships, is shattered by infidelity, making it challenging or impossible to rebuild the relationship. Beyond the emotional consequences, infidelity can lead to practical issues such as changes in living arrangements, legal divorce procedures, spousal support, and the division of joint property.

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Study author Sean G. Jefferson and his colleagues note that infidelity is consistently cited as the primary reason for relationship dissolution throughout the world. This prompted their interest in exploring whether certain relationship characteristics could make relationships more immune or less vulnerable to infidelity.

They hypothesized that commitment to one’s partner will serve as a deterrent for infidelity, while passion and intimacy experienced for the partner will not. Their second expectation was that the belief that the partner had sex with another person during the course of the relationship will make the individual more likely to engage in revenge sex i.e., to seek revenge on their partner by also having sex with another person.

Data for this analysis were drawn from Wave IV of the National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent to Adult Health (Add Health), conducted by the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development. Add Health is a nationally representative survey that examines adolescent sexuality and health risk behaviors in the United States. This study analyzed responses from 1,912 participants who reported being married or living together with a romantic partner and provided answers to questions regarding infidelity.

The study authors analyzed participants’ responses about their own infidelity (“During the time you and [partner’s initials] have/had a sexual relationship, have/did you ever have any other sexual partners?”), beliefs about their partner’s infidelity (“As far as you know, during the time you and [partner’s initials] have/had a sexual relationship, has/did [partner’s initials] ever have any other sexual partners?”), passion (“My partner expresses/expressed love and affection to me”), intimacy (“How close are you to your partner?”), and commitment (“How committed are you to your relationship?”).

Results showed that individuals who reported higher commitment to their partner were less likely to report engaging in infidelity. Individuals who were highly committed to their relationship were 78% less likely to engage in infidelity compared to those with lower commitment levels.

Passion and intimacy were not associated with infidelity. This suggests that the quality and frequency of sex or emotional closeness alone do not necessarily deter infidelity.

Additionally, individuals who believed their partner was unfaithful were more likely to engage in infidelity themselves, which the study authors interpret as engaging in revenge sex. Specifically, those who believed their partner had cheated were 772% more likely to engage in revenge sex.

“While clinicians and researchers continue to unpack the complex phenomena surrounding infidelity, it should be made clear that it is never the victim’s fault. Loving a person and giving them everything they want is not going to keep them from cheating. The decision to remain faithful is purely a personal decision and at any point in time a person can say they no longer wish to be in the relationship, to avoid being unfaithful to their partner,” the study authors concluded.

The study sheds light on the links between characteristics of a romantic relationship and infidelity. However, the study was based on answers to single questions for each of the psychological characteristics. Studies involving better assessments of key factors might not produce equal results.

The paper, “Revenge Sex: Weaponizing Infidelity,” was authored by Sean G. Jefferson, Monica Padilla Vega, and Kimmery Newsom.