Moderate altruism enhances romantic desirability in online dating profiles

A study published in Evolutionary Psychological Science found that moderately altruistic individuals are rated as more romantically desirable than highly altruistic or non-altruistic individuals in online dating contexts.

Altruism is considered an attractive trait in romantic partners. Studies suggest that altruistic behaviors can signal good genetic quality and strong parenting potential, making altruistic individuals more desirable for long-term relationships. However, much of the research has focused on the overall presence or absence of altruism without accounting for the “costs” associated with altruistic acts. Exaggerated altruism could be seen as wasteful and, thus, less desirable than moderate displays of altruism.

In this work, Simran Dehal and Manpal Singh Bhogal expanded this understanding by exploring how different levels of altruism influence romantic desirability. Motivated by the rise of online dating, the study investigated how these altruistic costs affect perceptions in modern romantic interactions through dating profiles and messaging scenarios.

The researchers recruited 180 heterosexual participants, comprising 56 males and 124 females, aged 18 to 25. They specifically sought younger adults who would likely be familiar with online dating contexts. Participants were provided with a series of online dating profiles and messaging scenarios that manipulated the level of altruism displayed by the potential suitors.

These profiles described three distinct types of individuals: highly altruistic, moderately altruistic, and non-altruistic. For instance, the highly altruistic profile portrayed a person who regularly volunteered and engaged in charitable work, while the non-altruistic profile emphasized more self-serving behaviors like prioritizing personal interests over helping others.

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Participants were asked to read and evaluate three fictional online dating profiles. Each profile reflected one of the three levels of altruism: high, moderate, or none. Next, participants were exposed to three messaging scenarios where the content of the messages reflected different altruistic behaviors. One message contained high altruism (e.g., volunteering discussions), another reflected moderate altruism, and the third showed a lack of altruism (e.g., focusing on going out and having fun).

After reviewing both the profiles and messages, participants rated each target on how desirable they found the individual for both short- and long-term relationships on a 5-point Likert scale. This dual-method approach allowed the researchers to explore whether different forms of altruistic expression—either in how a person presents themselves or how they communicate—affect romantic interest.

The researchers found that moderate altruism is more attractive than either high or low levels of altruism, regardless of whether participants were considering a long-term or short-term relationship. When reviewing the online dating profiles, participants consistently rated the moderately altruistic individual as the most desirable for both types of relationships. Highly altruistic individuals were generally rated as more desirable than non-altruistic ones but still fell behind those displaying moderate altruism.

The messaging scenarios produced similar findings. Participants found the moderate altruism messages most appealing, especially in the context of long-term relationships. Highly altruistic messages, which emphasized charitable actions and a strong drive to help others, were less attractive compared to moderate ones, particularly for short-term relationships. Non-altruistic messages received the lowest desirability ratings across the board.

These results suggest that while some degree of altruism is desirable, overly altruistic behavior might raise concerns about practicality or vulnerability.

A limitation to this work is the hypothetical dating scenarios, which may not fully reflect real-life behavior.

The research, “Further Support for the Impact of Altruistic Costs in Human Mate Choice”, was authored by Simran Dehal and Manpal Singh Bhogal.