Childhood trauma and attachment styles show nuanced links to alternative sexual preferences

A recent study explores the relationships between past traumatic experiences, how people connect with others emotionally, and their roles in consensual power exchange or pain play during sex. The research indicates that a history of sexual abuse in childhood and certain insecure emotional patterns are related to whether someone prefers submissive or dominant sexual roles. These initial results were published in the journal Behavioral Sciences.

To understand these connections, it helps to examine the framework surrounding bondage, discipline, dominance, submission, and sadomasochism. This collection of acts is commonly known by its initialism, BDSM. The practice involves consensual power exchanges and the erotic expression of physical sensations, which can include the receipt or delivery of pain.

These behaviors typically feature three primary roles. A dominant partner takes control, a submissive partner relinquishes control, and a “switch” alternates between the two positions depending on the scenario. Consent is a foundational requirement, distinguishing these behaviors entirely from violence or assault. Communities centered around these practices often rely on established safety frameworks, such as the strict principle of safe, sane, and consensual participation.

Historically, psychology and medicine viewed these behaviors as inherently problematic because early researchers based their theories on clinical or forensic populations where consent was entirely absent. This skewed the scientific understanding of alternative sexualities for decades. Today, major diagnostic classifications separate atypical consensual sexual interests from actual mental health disorders, and modern research estimates that actual participation in these practices ranges between twenty and thirty percent of the general population.

Another foundational concept in the new research is attachment theory. Attachment theory describes how people form emotional bonds, pointing to how these patterns form from early interactions with parents or caregivers. The care a child receives creates a mental blueprint for how they view themselves and others later in life, and this blueprint continues to guide their adult interactions.

Free daily newsletter

Securely attached individuals feel comfortable with closeness and trust. They generally expect others to be supportive. In contrast, insecure attachment generally falls into three specific categories. Preoccupied individuals constantly seek approval and fear abandonment, dismissive individuals avoid closeness because they prefer extreme independence and do not trust others, and fearful individuals desire emotional intimacy but pull away to avoid being hurt.

Researchers Maja Selič and Vesna Jug from the University of Primorska conducted this research to see how early adverse experiences might shape both adult attachment and later sexual preferences. Past literature suggests that survivors of childhood sexual abuse sometimes report difficulties with emotional intimacy. Other previous data indicate a higher rate of involvement in alternative sexual practices among trauma survivors.

Selič and Jug wanted to test how these factors relate to specific sexual dynamics within a modern context. They gathered an online sample of 318 adult participants living in Slovenia. The participants completed a detailed series of questionnaires exploring their demographics, sexual orientation, residential environment, and relationship status.

Participants also answered a series of standardized psychological questions. One survey assessed their everyday adult attachment styles, while another evaluated any history of sexual abuse during their upbringing. A third inventory assessed how often the participants practice and enjoy submissive or dominant behaviors during sex. The researchers then analyzed the responses to find mathematical correlations between these life experiences.

The results revealed distinct associations between early trauma and later sexual preferences. Participants who reported childhood sexual abuse were more likely to practice and enjoy submissiveness. Conversely, those with a history of early trauma reported less involvement in and enjoyment of dominant roles.

The authors note that these numbers show a statistical association, but they do not mean that past abuse naturally causes an interest in alternative sexual practices. Many participants in the broader alternative sexuality community report no history of trauma. People engage in these behaviors for many reasons, including identity exploration, sensory enjoyment, and pure physical pleasure.

Attachment patterns also aligned with specific sexual roles. The dismissive attachment style was positively associated with engaging in and enjoying dominant behaviors. People who avoid emotional closeness to protect themselves from vulnerability might feel safer when they are in complete command of a physical situation.

On the other hand, the preoccupied attachment style was associated with adopting a submissive position. Individuals who frequently seek external validation might find fulfillment in relinquishing control. Following the strict rules set by a dominant partner could provide a desired sense of temporary approval and relational structure.

The study also assessed how early trauma relates to emotional bonding styles. As expected, a history of childhood abuse corresponded with insecure attachment. Participants with a history of early trauma scored higher in both fearful and preoccupied attachment patterns. The data did not show a link between childhood trauma and the dismissive attachment style.

The demographic findings challenged several traditional assumptions about gender and sexuality. Men in the sample reported more frequent engagement in and enjoyment of submissive roles than women. This contrasts with older societal stereotypes that men naturally prefer dominance, although men also reported higher levels of dominant behaviors than women across the entire analytical board.

Other demographic variables also predicted involvement in alternative sexual dynamics. Individuals living in urban areas, older participants, and people identifying as bisexual or homosexual reported higher rates of participation. People in open relationships engaged in these behaviors more often than single or dating individuals.

Living in a rural setting and being legally married were associated with lower participation rates. To double-check their findings, the researchers built a customized statistical model. They tested whether early trauma was the hidden reason why non-heterosexual people engage in these behaviors more frequently. The model showed that early abuse did not serve as a mediating link, meaning non-heterosexual orientations independently predicted higher participation rates.

The investigators acknowledge several limitations in their work. The study relied on self-reported data, which can sometimes result in biased or inaccurate reflections of past events, as asking people to recall childhood events introduces the possibility of memory errors. The sample size for certain segments, such as asexual individuals or people who identify outside traditional gender binaries, was small. This makes it difficult to mathematically apply the findings to those specific populations without a larger dataset.

The researchers also did not screen for existing mental health diagnoses. Conditions related to emotional regulation or post-traumatic stress might independently influence relationships and sexual behavior. In addition, the survey removed questions about sexual fantasies to keep the focus purely on real-world actions, which omits an important psychological dimension since fantasy plays a major role in human sexuality.

Moving forward, the authors recommend using qualitative methods, such as in-depth interviews, to understand the personal motivations behind these actions. People might seek out specific dynamics for personal growth, healing, or spiritual fulfillment. Investigating how male participants specifically navigate submissive roles could also help clarify the shifting gender dynamics observed in the modern era.

The study, “Childhood Sexual Abuse, Adult Attachment Styles, and Involvement in BDSM Practices in Adult Intimate Relationships,” was authored by Maja Selič and Vesna Jug.